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02 October 2006 @ 01:27 am
Those three words are said too much, they're not enough  
Making love to Buffy was something I never thought I'd be able to do, but always wondered if there'd ever be a way. There was the Shanshu prophecy, but I wasn't even counting on that much anymore. Even if it happened who was to say it would be in the next five years or the next fifty? Finding a way to secure my soul had been the key. I still wasn't sure if I was owed the assurance that I could actually have some real happiness in my existence without having to worry about releasing Angelus, but after what just happened here in this room? I knew it was worth every ounce of doubt Buffy turned into confidence that this was something that I could actually do.

How does one know the moment they reach true happiness? The first time I lost my soul everyone assumed it was just the act of sex that did the trick. That was a part of it, sure, but that wasn't really the trigger. It's not like there haven't been others since. So few I can count them on half a hand, but even still. It wasn't sex. It was Buffy. Everything in those moments after we made love were perfect and I just held her as we slept. In a way, the same thing was happening now. There was.. well, more sex had and different than before, but now I just held here against me.

How does one know when they've reached perfect happiness? It's when you can't possibly think of anything that would make the moment any better. Or when the harshness and pain of the world fades away even if for just a moment.

Smiling, I pulled Buffy closer against me and looked down at her. We'd both pretty much been spent after all that we'd done here. Chains that we'd both used on each other hung lazily from the bedposts. Both our wrists were worn from tugging as one tortured the other with not being able to touch. Flawless, warm skin again cool with our bodies moving in perfect rhythm as if we'd been making love to each other every night for months or years. And well. We could do that now.

Yeah, I'd thought about that too.

Buffy's eyes blinked open slowly as I ran my fingers slowly up and down her back. She'd been the reason I'd done this in the first place and really she would've been the only person I'd do it for anyway. Frankly, I doubt there would've been anyone else to convince me to go through with it and no one else was worth the risk of something going wrong. Luckily for both of us and everyone else, that hadn't happened.

Reaching up with my other hand, I slide my fingers across her forehead and cleared away a piece of hair from her eyes. I smiled down at her once she was looking back at me. "Hey," I said quietly and she gave me a smile so warm I couldn't help but return. "Think everyone in the entire hotel heard us?"
Current Mood: relaxedrelaxed
Current Music: Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
Buffy Summers: (bangel) i saw sparkssuperhero_grrl on October 8th, 2006 02:38 am (UTC)
I slowly blinked my eyes open, I could feel Angel's fingertips running lightly down my back and I just smiled contentedly as I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was here. For one moment I'd had an instant of panic when I woke up, before I opened my eyes, the last time we'd been in this position he'd been gone. I'd woken up alone and afraid. This was nothing like that.

His cool fingertips slid across my forehead and I smiled wider and looked at him.

"Hey," I said, my voice a little scratchy from sleep.

I laughed lightly when he asked if everyone had heard us. Of course they had, we hadn't been descrete.

"I'm surprised the door hasn't been kicked in and stakes brandished at your chest, so either they're waiting to see if I turn up dead or someone figured out that there is no danger. There isn't right? Any danger?"

I wasn't asking if he was Angelus because that's something I'd always been able to tell right off the bat. It was his eyes mostly, his tone was always a little different too but it was his eyes. When it was Angelus behind them it was like staring into emptiness.

I was more asking if he'd ... you know. I wasn't totally convinced that perfect happiness wasn't more of a once in a lifetime thing - even in his long life. Or maybe I was just curious because this whole night seemed rather perfect to me.

It wasn't the sex either, though, honestly that was amazing. Best sex of my life really and I had the raw wrists to prove it but it's this. This right here, waking up next to him and having him look at me like this is all it would take for him to be happy for the rest of his life - that is what makes this perfect to me. Nothing else exists right now. Just me and him.

"I'm not in any hurry to go assure them the world isn't in peral."
Angel: Happy Smilesmr_angel on January 2nd, 2007 05:36 am (UTC)
I laughed lightly at the thought of everyone coming in with stakes held high. She was probably right, but for now I'm thankful we're alone. Isn't something that happens often in this hotel very often. Smiling at her question, I silently leaned in and kissed her soundly. Any danger? I suppose there's always a danger of something, but as for me turning back into Angelus because of sleeping with Buffy? It didn't exist any longer.

Pulling back to look at her, I searched her face and shook my head. "No." Brushing away some of her blonde hair, I kissed her forehead and settled back on the bed with her wrapped in my arms. There were things haunting us outside that door, but right now I wanted to focus on the now. It would have to be dealt with probably sooner rather than later, but I tried as best as I could to push the thoughts away. Absolute, perfect happiness might have come and gone in just a single moment, but I wasn't about to give up the not quite perfect happiness right now.

"I'm not in any hurry to get out of this bed much less leave the room to tell everyone else anything." If Cordelia were alive she'd probably be standing outside the door with a bucket of holy water to throw at me just in case. Or she would have checked herself into a hotel for the night until she heard from someone in the morning. The thought brought a sad smile to my face, but I let it pass and looked down at Buffy at again.

"How long you think we can keep ourselves in here?" I said with a smile playing at my lips. After last night I was a little hungry and probably so was she, but I could wait for a while. The last time we were in this position I'd been able to run to the fridge in the small apartment below our office for ice cream. Too bad I didn't think to keep something in the room.